To be clear, I did not embrace the idea of adult day care for a long time. I questioned whether anyone could care for my Dad as we had become accustomed to doing. You know what I mean; are they going to understand his needs--anticipate them even like we do perfectly every day (ha ha). Turns out that was hubris on my part. As much as Dad loves us and loves spending time with his nuclear family he was craving social interactions with adults his own age; and there was NO way we could provide that. Why was I blind to this fact initially? Honestly? I think it was because I saw what he LACKED more than I could see what he had to OFFER. My Dad has always been a very social man. He has literally never met a stranger. It might take him just a couple of minutes to get you sized up but once he connects with you he can talk for hours. And I mean hooouuurrrsss. It took me having a heart to heart with the Veterans Administration social worker to even entertain adult day care as an option. I initially caught a nasty case of 'caregivers guilt'. The, 'what would people think' loop tape played in my head for a minute. But, as usual, after the three amigos hashed it out we decided to go for it. We made an appointment to visit the facility with Dad and spent a "free" day assessing the staff interactions and the activities and food choices. We then spent another day kinda in the background for a couple of hours while Dad got acclimated. Once we felt he was comfortable we left him eating breakfast and walked out the door. But I tell you the truth. The first morning we left him there all day I balled like a nut case! It really was shameful. Now, unless he is sick or we are out of town Dad hits day care three times a week; we lovingly refer to it as, "the County Club". He is happy to go and we are happy that he is at a place where the staff genuinely cares about him. Adult Day Care has been a wonderful addition to our care team. Dad has taken to the social atmosphere beautifully. In fact, I feel as if we should have pursued this avenue as soon as we moved to Tampa when he might have been able to participate a bit more fully. However, we have not had any regrets. I like our day care so much I felt comfortable enough to refer three other families. No, it isn't pretty or at all fancy but the staff, and most especially the director, pour their hearts into everything they do. Dear caregiver, please do not feel like you are a failure for choosing an alternative place for your loved one during the day (as long as you've vetted it). You need the separation, they need the socialization and everyone needs new stories to tell at the end of the day. If you are interested in where we go, please leave me a comment and your email address and I will send you complete information.
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