In the twenty years my parents were permanently in Florida they became rooted and grounded in their new home without hesitation or regret. This may sound strange to some but I am quite sure many in my family felt as if my parents were abandoning them. NO ONE ELSE had a) retired so young and b) left the family behind for a fresh start in a new place. In the years between 1995 until 2005 my parents traveled the length and breadth of this country by car, rail and plane. They celebrated their 40th anniversary in the Bahamas and their 50th by renewing their vows in Chattanooga, TN and taking a life-changing trip to Accra, Ghana. In 1998 they traveled to Europe to see cities both of them had only dreamed about (London was Moms favorite and Paris was Dads). They served faithfully in their new church home helping to start a soup kitchen with the intrepid Lavonne Barnaby, taught Sunday School and trained Deacons and Deaconesses. They were good council to many friends helping when some got sick or, eventually, passed away. They painted friends homes, gardened, built stuff and generally and thoroughly enjoyed life at their OWN pace without dictates. Raymond and I visited every year in the Spring first stopping off in Albany GA where his folks had retired then heading to Lakeland to round out the week. We saw them most years at the Thomas-Elder family reunions in August--We sometimes missed; they never did. Mom and Dad even hosted two family reunions in Florida with a little bit of help from us and a whole lot from the Lord. They looked after their neighbors and vice versa but they were never meddlesome nor gossipy. So, believe me when I say that it was really hard for them to make the decision to move back north when my Mom's health began to fail in 2005. They'd forged a good life in the Sunshine State. And I know what concerned my Mom most was losing her independence. To avoid that, they found a great two bedroom apartment near downtown Detroit where they could be back in the thick of things. And as God would have it they ended up about two blocks from my Aunt Charlotte. The highlight of their weekend was to hang out at the famed Eastern Market, enjoy a hot dog and people watch. They would then catch end of the day bargains of fresh produce and meat and head home satisfied they'd gotten some great deals. I'd go up once a month or so and stay with them helping out as needed and generally just soaking up their company. By this time Raymond and I had relocated to Defiance, Ohio. As we searched for homes our one stipulation was that it had to be big enough to take in one or both sets of parents if necessary. We both knew what God had equipped us to do and we were in a unique situation to do it. We found the perfect home; 4 bedrooms with three of them on the first floor, central kitchen, separate siting room etc. We weren't sure when we would need all of this space but we knew it would eventually be used. And sure enough, after about five years Mom's health took another tricky turn. The four of us had our 'come to Jesus' meeting when it was clear that independent living was no longer possible. Mom, Dad and I had already had "the Talk" when they lived in Florida about all of the 'what if' scenarios that dog us towards the end of life. Mom's wish was to go to a nursing home if her care became 'a burden'. Dad's wishes were very different; He wanted to be with family until the end. I felt like I had my marching orders especially when they chose to settle everything in their legal documents while living in Detroit. I tell you all of this dear reader because I believe it is vitally important to share your end of life wishes with family and really close friends. It doesn't have to be a morbid discussion AT ALL because it is just one of MANY facts of life that, if dealt with sooner rather than later, can give family members peace.of.mind. And we all know peace of mind is a priceless commodity. So, in 2010 we became the four Amigos. They had half the house and we had the other half. We came together for dinner, family nights on Fridays, movies when something monumental was showing and just did adult life together as a team. My parents had privacy and so did we. We traveled together (as much as Mom could tolerate) and invited friends and family over frequently. It was a sweet time that none of us chose to take for granted.
 |
| Dinner and Jazz in Fort Wayne |
I could call home and ask Mom to start cutting vegetables up for sides and we would cook them together when I got in from work. What started out as a somewhat awkward dance become a fluidly choreographed set piece as time went on. We became #TeamReynolds-Blakely. It was a wonder! And then, things changed again. The only constant in any story any of us could tell is that things will change. And that, my friends, is life in abundance.
Comments
Post a Comment