It Takes a Village...

Not bragging...at all but I really do have the most amazing God-sent partner in my husband Raymond.  When we embarked on this season of our marriage it was with eyes wide open and hearts full knowing that the Lord appointed us as caregivers with His support.  What we came to realize after my Mother's death in May, 2013 was that His support meant a tangible mini-village of people we could call upon to keep all of us sane, healthy and whole.  First and foremost has been our church family in Defiance, Ohio and now Wesley Chapel, Florida.  Our Pastors and church members have prayed for us, nurtured us, counseled us and generally fueled our journey with positivity. We are so grateful for our current Pastors Ed and Janis Russo and the love they show my Dad regularly.  Our friends in Defiance (our Big Sisters and Brothers) took time out of their busy schedules to visit, bring goodies and take Dad out for meals.  I cannot tell you how much that lifted his spirits especially after Mom passed.  My Big sisters in Defiance STILL send presents and cards for 'just because' occasions and both have been down to visit with us.  They prove that love truly is an action word.

Pastor Ed and Dad

Without our family we would wither;  they support us as we support Dad and that makes all the difference.

The mix of agencies that are involved week in and week out give us all room to breathe.  Seniors Helping Seniors is a unique concept which pays older adults to care for even older or disabled adults.  They charge by the hour so it is similar to a sitters service.  Depending on what may be happening in our lives as a couple we can give them less than 24 hours notice and they somehow manage to fulfill our requests with competent people.  Seniors Helping Seniors is a franchise--look them up if you need respite care.  Three times weekly Dad attends a full day Adult day care called C.A.R.E.S. in Dade City.  The staff provides meals, activities, snacks and companionship in abundance.  The director often has scholarship money available to supplement the cost AND your county may provide bus transportation or cab fees; your Area Office on Aging can assist with available day care resources. Then we have a nursing assistant in home twice a week to provide bathing and grooming for 1 hour funded by the Veterans Administration.  The V.A. has been instrumental in helping us get a hospital bed, mobility aides such as a wheelchair and walker, and bath aides like shower chairs.  But before we linked up with the V.A. (can you believe my WWII veteran Dad never used his entitled benefits?!?!) I shopped at the Goodwill for mobility and bath aides; I refer families there frequently as I have stumbled upon some expensive gems for pennies on the dollar.  Hospice has come into our lives recently bringing another set of nursing eyes, and 2 free hours of respite care on Thursdays plus social work and chaplain support.  I have to give a shout out to Humana as Dads Medicare supplemental insurance.  Its become so typical to have an adversarial relationship with big insurers.  Humana however seems to be an exceptionally forward thinking company for elders.  Every time Dad has been hospitalized they've sent 10 days worth of frozen well-balanced meals to support his recovery; who does that???  Nothing came together over night and quite frankly Dad wasn't ecstatic at first about a) the sitter cause he didn't think he needed looking after.  I told him it was for my peace of mind so he agreed. b) the home health aide since we'd been giving him his bath.  I told him he was entitled to use his hard earned benefits; he said, "that make sense." You will probably have to lay down the notion that you can have 24 hour agency support.  Even though the state says you have the right to the resources you need to "age in home", those resources rarely exist.  Cobbling together what you can to maintain a balanced life takes being open to alternatives and being grateful daily for the Grace you've already been granted to do what you can with what you have where you're at.