Trippin With Dad

How you resolve conflict within your marriage is the 'canary in the coal mine' that  will determine the long-term health of your relationship better than any other indicator.  I'm not making that statement up.  Apparently how you disagree speaks volumes about the love and respect you harbor in your heart for one another.  My parents weren't ones to argue in front of us kids. As far as I knew, they got along great; perfectly in synch with one another; or so I thought.  Later on, I began to notice how things were glued together and the power dynamics at play. From the outside looking in, there was occasional trouble in paradise and a clear winner and loser emerged more often than I'd noticed before.  Through osmosis you tend to pick up the behaviors you see over time,  Naturally, I copied many of the techniques I'd witnessed over the years--the strong side-eye glance that effectively shut down the conversation.  The jaw muscle flex that said, 'I could say more

What a blessing it was to be able to travel home for truly wonderful reasons.  In contrast, by this time last year, I'd been to Detroit five times to funeralize loved ones; What a difference a year makes! My family means the world to me and I try to be as present as one can living 1100 miles away.  But my family is huge so, some things I can attend and sadly, many I cannot.  But when we get together it's always wonderful (even at the funerals).  And this visit, I got to see the city through the eyes of my nieces which was a new experience for me-one which I will cherish for a long time!! First off,  Dorothy's refrain, "there's no place like home" rang true for me.  There's just a way you settle down and settle in at 'home' that's next to impossible anywhere else.  During my three day visit in the "D" I thoroughly enjoyed  lavishing love on nieces (and one nephew) all the while being dazzled by the changes in my city.  Detroit is a j

Dad woke up chipper this morning as he does many mornings.  Typically I ask him how he's slept and  if he had any dreams. He says he ALWAYS dreams.  I loved his response today.  He said he was running free in a field with some other boys.  They were running ahead of him and he was trying to catch up but his clothes weren't right (this is where he lost me as he sometimes does🌝😏). He told me that he used to run so fast that his feet would actually hit him in the butt.  What I latched onto today was how he smiled when he said he ran free.  FREE! Freedom.  I cannot yet imagine what my life would be like mostly confined to chairs.  For me, right now, sitting for extended periods to read or craft  feels like an incredible luxury.  Sometimes, I just want to sit quietly on the porch and drink my coffee in the mornings.  But deep chair sitting doesn't happen too often.  I find myself up watering neglected plants or washing errant dishes which is exactly what I SHOULD be doing bu

Is anyone else out there STILL trying to get adjusted to the hour we 'lost' this Spring?  Well, I am.  It's just the strangest feeling to arbitrarily have something as important as an hour taken away without my consent.  Time can be lots of things: well spent, wasted, up, a healer etc. but unless you' like being confused twice a year I don't see the point of playing with the clock.  It is offensive to my sensibilities that man has the hubris to try to control time.  It is a well researched fact that thousands of people die twice a year around the time when time gets changed.  Our bodies are meant to follow a rhythm (called circadian rhythm) that keeps us tuned in to our natural surroundings AND regulates hormone production critical to our overall well-being.  I am sure I must be shortening my days on earth by getting angry over someone I don't even know taking away an hour of my day but that is what happens every Spring.  I get angry and I stay angry because I d

A deep connection to the natural world has always been a HUGE part of who I am.  As a small town girl who just happened to be born into a big city life, I had to make exploring the trees and rocks around my Detroit home my mission.  Pretty much every time I went for a walk around my neighborhood I'd pick up a broken tree limb and strip it down to its bare beauty.  I picked up leaves, pebbles, pine cones admiring their color, shape, symmetry etc.  That love for natural things has never left me. My favorite day trip is a hike in the woods followed closely by a day near a large body of water. For years when friends traveled abroad they would ask me what I wanted for a souvenir.  My only request was that they bring me back a rock or sand. (the looks I got!). I frequently traipse in now from my daily neighborhood walks with rocks, palm tree bark and interesting looking tree limbs. My neighbors ask, "what are you going to do with that stuff?"  I tell them that the artist in me

Home spa day Diez de Mayo meal Dad chillaxin You know how I like to plan a great get-a-way when the  cat is away?  Catch something moving and see a new horizon somewhere else just to shake it up and confuse the muscle.  San Antonio, Amelia Island, Disney cruising.  All fun with Dad in a fresh locale exploring and making new memories.  But sometimes it's truly a pleasure to enjoy the hard work you put into the place where you lay your head every night.  See your own home from a different perspective kinda like a guest would. View from my lanai Staycation, oh yes staycation, I love me a good staycation! Got the groceries I would need ahead of time, picked up chips and salsa from my favorite Mexican restaurant in San Antonio and hunkered down.  Dad and I ate our meals on the lanai everyday while listening to jazz.   I'd freshened up our landscaping and I got to enjoy coffee on my front porch oogling my new flowers, smelling the jasmine with the fountain burbli

So, my day started off calm cool collected.  Like, things were running so smoothly I kinda had to pinch myself and say, 'is it really gonna flow like this today?'  I got up on time, got my walk in, had my cup of coffee on the front porch, got Dad up and laid out his breakfast.  I was cooking confidently with Crisco.  I had fifteen minutes to spare before the sitter arrived so I thought,  this would be the perfect time to get my shower done and the makeover process started.  Briefly I thought, 'stop and put a note on the door for the sitter to come on in in case you can't hear her in the shower'. Nah!!!  I figured by the time I got the pad and pencil out, wrote the note, found tape etc., I would be finished showering.  Welp.  the sitter came early and freaked out when I didn't answer the doorbell.  She immediately called the owner of the sitter service who then proceeded to call my husband.  The owner thought I must have rushed Dad to the hospital or...By now, I&

Dear reader, do you have a daily devotional book that you love?  I am currently being challenged by Charlotte Gambill's book, BREATHE: Inhale Truth-Exhale Life.  I knew when I heard her speak at Life Church last July at our Women's Conference (shameless plug here:  Go to www.LifeChurchNow.cc and register for the 2019 conference titled "Flourish" July 18-20) that she would push my boundaries and challenge my comfort zones.  I was correct.  Her style is, 'in your face' real but done with humor and self-deprecating grace.  She does not ask more of you than God has asked of her and I am grateful that I took a chance on buying this book.  To say I got right into it from the beginning would be a misrepresentation.  Actually, I didn't like it at first because I didn't like where it was forcing me to go.  And now, I can't wait to see what word God has for me through Charlotte!  Today, she explored why taking the spiritual stairs in life is so much more

I just finished my devotion for the evening and I was really intrigued by today's message.  In essence the author asked us to ask others, "How is my driving?"  You've probably seen those bumper stickers on the backs of commercial vehicles that ask that same question, then provide a toll-free number that drivers following that vehicle can call to comment on the competence of the driver.  Have you ever called?  I haven't.  But I wondered, 'what would happen if I put that same question on my car?'  Welp, some days I might get calls congratulating me for being so kind and considerate.  I take pride in the fact that I often allow folks to move in front of me if I see them stuck in a bad spot.   Other days, I'm sure folks would complain about my aggressive, goal oriented driving.  What if I put that question on my life?  If I simply checked in with family and friends on the regular to ask, 'How am I treating you?'  Could I handle the honest unfiltere