The Power of Communication

Recently I had the pleasure of text talking with a young caregiver about the stresses and strains of the role on everyone involved in her household.  This may sound strange but texting among caregivers or meeting virtually say, by video chat can be a really useful means of regular communication.  It would be nice to meet up at someones home or a coffee shop or... but often the role responsibilities simply won't allow it.  I know, I know.  Texting to some may be cold and video chatting just not personal enough but, honestly, sometimes, that's all we have the energy for.  In the bigger scheme. the key point is that caregivers get to talk to other caregivers from time to time for support, ideas, prayers and praise reports.  It's hard to explain.  New Moms go through a similar season right?  When you feel isolated and overwhelmed yet you wouldn't trade places.  Caregiving for a parent is close but waaay different.  As a parent, you automatically feel empowered to make the best decisions you can for your charge.  But as the child caring for a parent you have to go to God for the empowerment you need to make the tough choices when your parent cannot.  God, who commanded us to honor our Mother and our Father will certainly equip you with the big girl pants when the time comes.  This was the crux of my text conversation with my young friend.  She is under extreme pressure to entertain each and every request her parent makes with little to no consideration of her own needs;  that is not a balanced relationship.  What I have learned is that there has to be a new contract formed as responsibilities between child and parent shift.  That contract will look different for each family but it is necessary to have.  It is a give and take dance that is delicate to choreograph and it can't be done without Holy Spirit.

I was extremely blessed in 2005 to have my father pass the baton on to me in a decisive way.  What he said was, "There's going to come a time when you will have to put your foot down and make some hard decisions.  But we will back you all the way."  Just as Moms and Dads have a sense of when to let their children grow up, Caregivers have to learn when to help their parents change course.  My parents began to recognize the strain I was under travelling back and forth first to Florida, then to Detroit as both Moms and Dads health began to fail.  As the designee they realized that our fortunes were bound together; If I went down then their future was less certain.  Cold hard math?  Just real talk.  With that decided there really was no more striving necessary.  Holy Spirit cleared EVERY path and ordered every step.  Do you have that relationship?