Decompression

I have never actually scuba dived (do scuba lessons at the resort pool in Mexico count?) but I am familiar with the term, 'decompression'.  In a sound bite it means a return to normal atmosphere following exposure to great pressure.  My understanding is that after a diver has been under hundreds of feet of water for a certain length of time that  they have to allow ample time  for  certain cellular gases to exchange  so that they do not experience 'the bends' or  diving sickness before they return to the surface.  If done wrong the process of decompression could at the least make you feel just awful for quite some time and at the most could LITERALLY kill. you.  Knowing how to decompress is part of a divers training which they forget at their own peril.  Now.  Why would someone participate in an activity that is potentially so hazardous?  And not so much during but AFTER it is over?  Welp, my guess is that what you see and experience while that far underwater is amazingly beautiful and ethereal -so far beyond what is at the earths surface- that the rewards outweigh the risks.  I feel like caregiving is similar to deep sea diving.  When you start you aren't exactly sure what  awaits you but you suit up and take the plunge anyway.  The deeper you go caring for your loved one the scarier it can feel because it gets a bit darker and the pressure of your responsibilities builds slowly.  Before you know it you are not aware of the other divers that started this journey with you; just the vastness of what you see as your daily duties.  You are humbled by your place in this new world of deep love and affection for your loved one but then you are often terrified that something may keep you from returning to the surface of your life.  Then that loved one passes and with God's merciful interventions you slowly decompress rising back to another experience all together that only resembles your previous life. Depending on the decompression period you can get sick or disoriented immediately afterwards.  Yes, some have died from broken hearts after such an intense deep dive.  The goal is to return to the surface of your life having been changed by what you've experienced in that dark sweet pressurized place but hopefully not get 'the bends' as you return.  Beloved reader if, as you read this, you are any place along this caregiving journey-from contemplating the responsibilities of what is coming to returning to the life you had prior to being a caregiver- just know that you will be changed either by the beautiful view under the pressure or the disorientation of the process going in and coming out.  You'll eventually find the other divers you've been swimming with this whole time but may have gotten seperated from.  You'll take off your caregiving masks and begin to get your eyes straight and really see your co-laborers again which can be a bit disorienting as well (more on that in a later note).  Your perspective on everything shifts as the gases redistribute in your heart and mind.  I have seen some turn to alcohol or other numbing substances so as to not feel disoriented by what is ultimately  perfectly normal emotions.  But what can happen is that they delay the grief process and essentially catch the bends much later.  The numbing substances or activities keep the gases from shifting back to where they belong.  I do not profess to have the "ultimate guide book" for the caregiving experience.  I am not even sure I am seeing too clearly right now as I write this.  I have a lot more decompressing to do; I know and feel this.  But I am beginning to see Gods hand in the long arc of the caregiving experience that has been mine and my husbands.  Let me just say in general that it has been one of preparation, compassion and provision by our heavenly Father, the ultimate scuba diving instructor.  As my eyes and heart straighten out I will keep writing to you about this unique experience so that if (and I really hope WHEN) you start your journey you can count me as a good scuba consultant.  Much love!